Thursday, 27 February 2020

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 89

Paul’s in the old Butler’s pantry restringing his guitars. The local vicar pops his head round the corner, ‘You’re not bad for a one hander on that, are you? He says pointing at the guitar. Paul can hear the girls, Gaynor and Pixie Lott sniggering just out of sight. ‘There’s some change on the meter box near the front door’ says Paul, not looking up from his work, ‘that’s all the money I have.’ ‘No, I don’t want money’ the vicar laughs, as if a request for cash is a rarity for him. ‘Can you come with me? I’m conducting an experiment.’ Paul knows they won’t leave him alone until they’ve poked their fun, so he grumpily puts down his string winder and follows the vicar upstairs. In the living room, there’s Ed Sheeran and his gangland associate LJ with the girls, all clearly excited about something. ‘Right!’ exclaims the vicar, ‘the only way we can get rich quickly,’ ‘Without any effort!’ quips Sheeran over him. ‘Yes thank you Ed’ continues the vicar, ‘is our own YouTube channel with funny videos on it.’ ‘Right’ says Paul, looking around for an explanation. ‘So video number 1’ announces the vicar, handing Paul the cheapest in the range of supermarket carrier bags, ‘Can a one handed man open a supermarket carrier bag? Go! Start filming!’ whereupon all the camera phones in the room lock on him. ‘Ah! my arch nemesis’ laughs Paul, lightening up a little, ‘there’s definitely a knack to this.’ 90 seconds later, ‘I’ve almost got the seam....’ ‘This is gold!’ whispers Sheeran to the vicar.