Wednesday, 21 August 2019

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 82

Paul’s still wetting the bed over the excitement of the last few weeks. First, he found out Harry Potter author, JK Rowling’s moving to his street! Second, she’s only invited him and his friends to lunch! The local vicar is quickly reading the Potter novels, despite previously condemning them and their pagan themes. Forever in pursuant of a meal ticket, he’s confessed to Gaynor, that if Joanne makes a lunge at him when she’s tanked up, that he won’t knock her back, despite her being a little longer in the tooth than his usual type. ‘I’m sure she’ll be desperate to get a man of your calibre in the sack’ encourages Gaynor, looking forward to the potential car crash this luncheon may promise. Over at the Rowling mansion, Joanne’s in Death Eater mode, placing several secret listening devices around the room,so she doesn’t miss any of the fantastic tales her guests may divulge during their stay. Gaynor already knows Joanne of old and what a story stealing scumbag she can be. So in cahoots with Pixie Lott, she’s prepared several wacky storylines, cobbled together ‘Just to have a bit of fun with the plagiarising old mare,’ Gaynor smiles, passing Pixie a Park Drive. At that point the vicar walks in wearing so much High Karate it causes the girls to cough. ‘Is it too much?’ asks the vicar. ‘Actually like’ reflects Pixie for a moment, ‘I thought you’d already drunk all your aftershave?’