Wednesday, 22 May 2019

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 75

Gaynor can’t help but laugh about the first time she met the local vicar. He’d only recently moved to the village with his wife Pippa, a new start and his first parish. After settling in at the vicarage, the Bishop called on the new recruit, ‘C’mon, let’s go and meet the savages at the Dog & Gun.’ Upon entering the lounge bar, the Bishop clocked Gaynor and Paul and the introductions were made. ‘Aw he looked so clean and respectable’ remembers Gaynor, ‘you’d have never of thought it was the same stinky, obnoxious cockeyed skid mark we now all know and avoid,’ she laughs. ‘He seemed so committed to his wife’ recalls Paul. ‘Heavens knows what switched inside him, within weeks of moving here he’d stole Gaynor’s underwear from the washing line and modelled it for the Parochial Church Council! ‘Yeh, I battered him after that’ continues Gaynor, ‘he said it was his first black eye,’ she adds with pride. ‘Most people go a bit mad when they meet Gaynor’ laughs Paul. ‘Like who??’ protests Gaynor ‘I’m dead normal,’ causing Paul to laugh even more. ‘What about Big Dave the Blacksmith and Terry the Hod Carrier,’ suggests Paul, ‘will they ever be the same again? he questions. ‘Weirdos!! The pair of them’ she replies dismissively.