Monday, 13 May 2019

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 69

Today is the anniversary of the passing of Jet Wash Jim. A group of his friends including Gaynor, Paul and the local vicar, meet at his grave to pay their respects and from there, it’s off to the Dog & Gun, to raise a glass or two to the great man. After a few ales, the conversation always turns to the same subject, the lost fortune of the deceased. It’s common knowledge that Jim was as tight as the proverbial gnats chuff and the fortune he made from his lucrative jet washing empire, was stashed away, not in a bank as you’d suspect, but ‘somewhere safer than the bank’ he’d smile, tapping his nose. Unfortunately a bizarre jet washing accident ended his days, before he could share where he thought was safer than the bank. ‘Just think’ says the vicar, ‘somewhere in the village, there’s hundreds of thousands of pounds up for grabs.’ Jim had lived alone with no surviving family, his only passion was gardening and jet washing. ‘I bet the cash is buried in his allotment’ says the vicar excitedly. ‘Nope’ replies Gaynor, ‘I turned the whole thing over at least twice’ she laughs ‘and so has old Mrs Dixon!’ she nods towards the old bag who’s asleep, after too much Guinness. In the corner, local villain and international pop star Ed Sheeran turns to his head grunt, LJ, ‘Safer than the bank? That’s easy, come on, we’ve treasure to find.’ ‘Where are they going?’ says Gaynor, ‘Oi, Sheeran it’s your round!’ she shouts after them.