Thursday, 2 May 2019

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 65

The local vicar’s noticed his congregation’s recently grown and certain individuals are suddenly attending Church every Sunday. Amongst the ranks of these newbies, are Ed Sheeran and his gangland associate, LJ. True, they may spend the entire time staring at their phones, but they’re in Church! Attending a service! The Bishop however remains sceptical, ‘I’ve seen this behaviour before’ he says to the vicar, ‘in 12 months time when their crooked house of cards collapses, we’ll be called as character witnesses at the Crown Court, to confirm what God fearing types they are. I just hope you’re not involved with them in anyway??’ he pleads, ‘I hear from Jeff at BetFreds, you’ve been gambling with fifty pound notes recently?’ ‘I’ve nothing to do with them Bishop’ he fibs, ‘Gaynor’s definitely passed over to the dark side, she’s working for Sheeran at ‘Snoggers’ Nightclub, I’ve warned her to stay away, but you know what these young kids are like.’ ‘Hmmmm’ thinks the Bishop out loud, ‘I’m sure Gaynor can fend for herself, what’s the source of your new found wealth?’ he probes further. ‘A small legacy from a distant aunt’ he lies, failing to disclose the rent received from LJ for his top secret use of the Church bell tower. ‘I’m using the majority of my windfall to pay my debts’ he smiles. ‘Glad to hear it’ replies the Bishop picking up his briefcase and leaving.