Friday, 4 January 2019

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 58

Gaynor and Paul are sat outside the Dog and Gun, each nursing a half pint of pale ale. They’re here to watch the scrap between old Mrs Dixon the fishmonger and her on / off boyfriend, Jack the coal man. The argument between the couple brews for days and days and becomes so intense, that the final showdown has become the stuff of legend, a finale that no one wants to miss. Following earlier skirmishes between the couple, there are already discrete gatherings of villagers in conspicuous locations to the fish shop, waiting for Mrs Dixon to blow her stack. ‘She’s a very jealous women’ suggests Paul, ‘if another woman even so much as looks at Jack, she goes off on one’ he says. ‘Well, Jack’s such a fine catch!’ laughs Gaynor sarcastically, unfortunately just within the earshot of Old Mrs Dixon who’s passing by. ‘What you say about my Jack? she says sharply, glaring at Gaynor. ‘I was just saying’ says Gaynor, casually pushing back her chair and standing up slowly, ‘Jack’s 100% fit and he can do miles better than YOU!’ Paul rolls his eyes and mutters ‘Oh Christ!’ as the surrounding congregation of gawpers gather round excited, at the prospect of this unscheduled bout. Maybe it’s Gaynor’s reputation as a doorman at ‘Snoggers’ nightclub that precedes her, but Mrs Dixon backs off threatening, ‘Not today lady, but soon, watch your step.’ ‘Anytime’ smiles Gaynor lighting a fresh Park Drive.