Friday, 7 December 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 52

Gaynor and Paul are walking to the Dog & Gun, for their usual lunchtime pint. ‘Paul, if we see Terry the hod carrier in the pub’ says Gaynor, ‘I was with you last night, alright?’ Paul chuckles, ‘Oh dear, is he still bothering you?’ ‘Yeh’ replies Gaynor, her Park Drive elegantly dangling from her mouth, ‘I mean, how many excuses does a girl have to give, before the penny finally drops with men? I’m NOT interested Terry!’ she says in a supposedly Neanderthal style, to add emphasis to its simplicity. ‘So what did we do last night then? enquires Paul, ‘Lacrosse? Taxidermy? Reenactment of the Battle of Agincourt?’ He fires an imaginary longbow towards the French lines. ‘Oh I see’ smiles Gaynor, ‘I told him we were rehearsing.’ ‘Blood and sand!!’ exclaims Paul, ‘Rehearsing!!!! That’s about has credible as telling him you’re washing your hair!’ ‘That’s what I told Big Dave the Blacksmith!’ she laughs. ‘Bloody hell! I don’t know how you manage to maintain this web of lies and deceit’ he snakes his head, smiling. ‘It’s genetic coding y’see, Paul’ she explains, briefly stopping to look at the new range of Italian causals in Dolcis shop window. ‘Whilst nature intends men to be attracted to women, to continue the species,’ ‘Hmmmm’ acknowledges Paul. ‘Women are equally programmed, to piss you off and lie to you,’ she concludes, taking a long satisfying drag on her Park Drive. Paul reflects upon her statement only very briefly, ‘Gosh, you’re very wise Ms Wilson’ he says. ‘I know’ she replies, walking passed him as he holds the pub door open for her.