Tuesday, 4 December 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 49

Paul’s made homebrew for years, mostly wines of varying strengths, the main ingredient being the bountiful supply of rhubarb that grows wild in the garden. The local vicar’s very fond of the tipple he’s christened ‘The Plonker’s Plonk’ and he’ll make sommelier type notes on whether the poo and wee of the local cats and dogs, who soil the rhubarb regularly, is a benefit or otherwise to the final wine. ‘I can definitely detect the scent of ‘Pedigree Chum’ here’ he says passing a schooner to Gaynor, ‘maybe the delicate perfume of Kitekat as well?’ Gaynor knocks back the whole glass, takes a long drag on her Park Drive, before belching in a lady like manner and curling up to go back to sleep. ‘Ah! I see madam’ smiles the vicar ‘your belch of approval, I’ll make sure the vineyard are notified immediately of your kind words. I’m sure they’ll be delighted with those comments, maybe they’ll use them in their advertising?’ Gaynor opens one eye giving the vicar prior notice that evasive action will be required if he doesn’t shut his pie hole.