Tuesday, 27 November 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 47

The local vicar has several enemies in the village. Collectively, the rich ladies who make up the Parochial Church Council are constantly out to get him, with their regular complaints to the Bishop regarding his conduct. This recent report is the Bishop’s favourite to date and he really must try and have a word with the vicar about it at some point. Sunday morning service: the vicar inexcusably ate a bacon and egg sandwich whilst dispensing the sacraments of holy communion. At times, he offered some parishioners a bite of his sandwich rather than the usual bread wafer. The congregation were clearly not impressed, despite his recommendation the sandwich included a mixture of both brown and red sauce, to cater for all tastes. He left the Church during the singing of the hymns to smoke cigarettes and drink canned lager with a wild looking woman who the vicar called ‘Gus’ or ‘Gaynor’ and is known to be some type of entertainer. This woman made threatening gestures to several members of the Parochial Church Council and she told us ‘to get back in the Church, vite! vite! raus! schell!’ When questioned about his actions, the vicar openly lied saying he was following new Church of England directives. He also said his attempts to feed everyone with one bacon and egg sandwich, was inspired by ‘Jesus’ fish and loaf miracle thingy', which his friend Gus found hilarious.