Monday, 26 November 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 46

Keith Superkings lives on the same street as Paul, in the ‘big house’ as Paul calls it. He likes Paul’s jaunty manner and they’ll often have a quick chat about the weather or local roadworks. In particular, Superkings and his wife Christine enjoy watching the comings and goings of the colourful characters who lodge with Paul. From their veranda they often witness the drunken vicar and the girl who looks like she needs a good wash, squabbling in the street over cider or fags and they’ll dine out on these stories when socialising. Superkings knows Paul doesn’t have two pennies to rub together, so whenever Christine decides she’d like a new sofa or a dining room table, he always asks Paul if he’d like the cast offs, which usually look brand new to Paul. One day, Superkings offers Paul a full size snooker table from his games room. Initially he thinks there’s nowhere to put it, however the local vicar gets very excited by this news and says he’ll put it in his room and throw out his bed if it won’t fit, after all he can keep his mattress and sleep on the snooker table when it’s not in use? Paul’s house is often full of strangers, but the thought of the vicar running a commercial pool hall from his bedroom, maybe that’s a step too far? So he politely reminds the vicar that half his room is let to Ed Sheeran and he’ll need Ed’s consent to throw out the bunk beds they share, thinking that’ll be the end of it. Later on whilst he’s watching ‘Countryfile’, he hears the vicar attempting to persuade Gaynor to swap rooms with Sheeran, so she can seize the opportunity of becoming his junior business partner. Paul doesn’t quite catch Gaynor’s reply over the noise of the telly, but it’s likely to be unprintable anyway.