Monday, 19 November 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 42

It’s late afternoon and Gaynor’s stood at the bar at the Dog & Gun, chatting with Mike the landlord. ‘So Gaynor’ says Mike,‘now you’ve finished school, what are you going to do? Secretarial college? You know, I can always find you some shifts here at the pub, if you want?’ ‘Thanks Mike, but I’m going down the pit with the lads, that’s the sort of life I crave, action, adventure, and a fancy hat with a light on it,’ she smiles, modelling an imaginary miner’s helmet. ‘Eer, Gaynor,’ starts Mike, ‘all the collieries for miles closed ages ago kidda, you need a plan B?’ ‘Well the Navy then’ suggests Gaynor, ‘maybe the Marines, a real spit in your eye, grit in your belly type of life Mike, see the world, fight the Bosch, y’know?’ ‘Sounds, pretty much what I expected Gaynor,’ replies Mike, ‘I know Paul and the vicar will miss you, another Cheeky Vimeo love?’ ‘Yeh, thanks Mike and a cider please, I’m sure the local losers will find a new altar to pray at soon enough. Better take for two Cheeky’s Mike, Pixie’s on her way,’ she looks at a message from leggy pop goddess, Pixie Lott. Pixie arrives out of breathe, closely followed by the local vicar, ‘That dick like!’ she indicates to the grinning clergyman, catching her breath, ‘has just chased me down the pissing high street init, begging me to take him back like, I mean, as if, eewwww init.’ ‘How did it go down the labour exchange?’ enquires Gaynor, winking at the vicar handing him a pint. ‘It’s nights like packing at the sausage factory init, or part time at Kwik Save like.’ ‘Well, they won’t have me back at Kwiky’ states Gaynor, ‘so it’s sausages for tea’ she laughs ‘JUST UNTIL, we’re accepted by the Marines, eh Pixie?’ ‘Init’ says Pixie quietly, looking at her nails and glancing at Mike and the vicar.