Wednesday, 7 November 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 34

The Bishop collars the local vicar after morning service. ‘I keep asking you, sort out the ruddy Parish noticeboard! Jet Wash Jim’s advert’s still there and he’s been dead two years!’ ‘Who’d a thought jet washing would be such a dangerous profession,’ the vicar laments shaking his head, ‘ok, I’ll get my best man on it’. However, by lunchtime, the noticeboard’s forgotten. Two weeks later and Gaynor picks up the telephone at Paul’s house ‘Yeh?’ ‘Hello, young lady’ an elderly but bright voice chimes down the receiver, ‘I’m looking for the vicar, I understand he maintains the Parish noticeboard?’ ‘Dunno’ says Gaynor and shouts up the stairwell ‘Vicar, Fones4U!’ and strolls back to her sun lounger. Within five minutes the vicar has the whole picture, the caller is a solicitor, he’s found the vicar’s bill for the noticeboard advert whilst looking for surviving relatives of Jet Wash Jim, who died intestate without family. As Gaynor walks passed the vicar off to her new job at the abattoir, she overs hears him saying ‘Yeah, funny ain’t it, but Gaynor who lives here is James’ illegitimate daughter, the resemblance is frightening!’