Friday, 2 November 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 31

The local vicar can’t help but notice the tattooed skin of the young men calling for Gaynor and Pixie Lott these days. Even Ed Sheeran sports some ink and presumably he’s getting some action as well? After all, those mucky lyrics don’t write themselves eh? Of course, the vicar belongs to an older generation, those who associate tattoos with sailors, jailbirds and carnival folk. However, if it means the chance to perform the horizontal tango again, he’ll get a sleeve done. Now the big question, what image should defile his unblemished skin? Gaynor says, ’Make sure it’s cool’ and she shows him her parachute regiment tattoo, with a serious look. Pixie’s advice is ‘Just make sure, you look hard like, my Xavier (her latest squeeze) looks dead hard init’ she says with a soppy grin. However, when he reaches the tattoo artists, the Bishop and church warden are ahead of him in the queue, discussing religious scenes for their sleeves. He can’t refuse the Bishop’s enthusiasm for the vicar to have an image of St Francis of Assisi, with maybe a donkey and other small animals gathered around the famous saint. As the vicar, gets into the chair, he whispers to the tattoo artist, ‘Can the donkey be changed to a dragon later?