Wednesday, 31 October 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 30

Whilst Paul’s in the back garden repotting some plants, the local vicar’s relaxing on Gaynor’s sun lounger whilst she’s undertaking her ablutions. 'Paul, have you wasted your entire life dreaming of being a pop star?’ the vicar asks, flicking ash from his Park Drive onto the recently swept floor. ‘Folk legend, rather than pop star’ Paul replies jokingly, ‘I don’t think I can compete with the likes of Pixie and Ed.’ ‘Well, we’ll soon see’ laughs the vicar, ‘I’ve taken the liberty of entering Wilson McGladdery into this year’s X Factor competition.’ ‘Oh I don’t think we’re quite what they’re looking for’ laughs Paul, sweeping up the vicar’s fag ash. ‘Really????’ replies the vicar ‘and what television executive is going to turn down an one handed guitar playing circus freak and a girl who’ll fill the front pages of the red tops for at least the next year!’ ‘When you put it like that’ Paul laughs, ‘sounds like we’re reality TV gold and they should be paying us to compete!’ The vicar smiles, ‘My application can always be withdrawn, if you’d prefer.’ ‘and your silence purchased?’ adds Paul, being no stranger to the path of the vicar’s extortion. ‘Is it the usual demands’ asks Paul, ‘two litres of cider and ten Park Drive?’ ‘I’m obliged’ smiles the vicar.