Tuesday, 23 October 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 25

Gaynor and Pixie Lott have World Cup fever! Neither of them have shown much interest in football before, though Pixie once dated a Rochdale Hornets midfielder and Gaynor claims to have thrown sharpened 10p pieces at several away goalkeepers, from behind the nets at the Stretford End. They’re all ready to watch the England game on the big screen at the Dog & Gun, when Pixie overhears the local vicar on the phone arranging to meet the Bishop and the church warden there. ‘Yuk’ says Gaynor, ‘not the holy trinity of gropers, what’s plan B?’ ‘Well, Paul won’t be watching the match like init’ says Pixie, ‘why don’t we start off at the pub like and then sneak back and watch the match here init.’ ‘If it stops me being mauled by the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, that’s fine!’ Gaynor laughs, though the prospect of watching the match on Paul’s tiny black and white TV, is disappointing to say the least. Just before the match, the vicar’s plastered, he’s stood in the front room with his face painted chanting, ‘You’re going home in a fecking ambulance’ to old Mrs Dixon who’s stood at the bus stop across the street, looking confused and a little frightened. Pixie’s initially shocked when Gaynor gives the vicar one of her pre - match beers, though she soon sees the logic when he’s crashed out comatose on the sofa. ‘C’mon we’re off to the pub, one down two to go’ smiles Gaynor.’