Monday, 22 October 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 24

Gaynor and the local vicar have taken a stall at the car boot sale at the Dog & Gun. They’re selling Paul’s nicknacks smuggled from the house whilst he’s at Kwik Save and odd bottles of tap water the vicar has blessed, making it ‘holy’ apparently. ‘Just wait till the Catholics get here’ he smiles, ‘they’ll snap up every bottle they’re so scared of that Hell nonsense.’ ‘Even if it’s served from a grotty old cider bottle?’ questions Gaynor, expressing her doubts they’ll realise any profit. Paul’s stuff is quick to go, old Mrs Dixon the fishmonger instantly recognises the 1950’s West German pottery mark, she’ll make an easy profit on eBay within hours she thinks, handing Gaynor a crisp £10 note. Nobody however, is interested in the vicar’s holy water, a few kids try and knock over the uncorked bottles, but even they know Gaynor’s reputation for no nonsense, so don’t get too close. When the vicar sees the Bishop’s purple Bentley park up, he quickly rips up his homemade ‘Holy Water’ sign and tells Gaynor to ‘button it’, just as she’s about to make she first sale as well. 'What’s going on here then?’ enquires the Bishop when he reaches the stall, ‘We’re a bottle recycling stall’ smiles the vicar nervously, ‘trying to encourage the natives y’know’ he adds. The Bishop smiles and turns to his cronies ‘It seems the village has quite a drinking problem if they’ve drunk this much cider before 11am.’ As the laugher dies down, Gaynor catches the Bishops eye, and gestures towards old Mrs Dixon and knocks back an imaginary cocktail or three.