Thursday, 18 October 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 22

Gaynor runs the Dog & Gun’s annual ‘day at the races’ trip. The dress code for gents is lounge suits and for the ladies, elegant summer frocks. There’s a full English served at the pub at 8am and the coach leaves for the races at 9am sharp! Mike, the pub landlord stocks the coach with brown ale and Gaynor leads the singing from the front of the coach, all the standards; ‘Mother Kelly’s Doorstep’, ‘It’s a long way to Tipperary’ etc. For the ladies, there’s an unofficial prize for the most dazzling outfit and this year, it looks like Pixie Lott will romp home, given the gasp she elicits as she steps into the coach. Pixie was hoping to grab the seat next to fit Kevin, who works at Kwik Fit, however she’s disappointed to see Old Mrs Dixon from the fishmongers has already claimed that seat and is practically smothering the poor lad with her offers of rock salmon sandwiches and crab sticks. Gaynor does a final head count, as usual, just the local vicar is missing. In the distance she sees him turn the corner at Rumbelows and knowing he’s late, sprint down the high street towards the coach. As he reaches the twenty yard point, Gaynor instructs Barry the driver to move twenty yards up the road, a process that’s repeated at least twice, whilst those on the back seats make the ‘wanker’ sign, or give him a jolly wave goodbye.