Wednesday, 10 October 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 18

Gaynor and the local vicar love a good action movie. In particular, they’ve watched the Die Hard series so many times on Paul’s decrepit VHS top loader, they don’t just know the script, they can act the parts as well! When Gaynor has an attack of ‘Man in a Vest’ syndrome, she’ll quote Bruce Willis’ best ‘kiss off’ lines from the movie to the vicar, who’ll reply in a sinister Alan Rickman bad guy sort of way. They’ll then both bob and weave around the house, recreating scenes from the film, firing imaginary pistols and tossing make believe grenades at each other. Once when Paul was putting his push bike away, the vicar locked the shed door behind him, shouting to Gaynor he’d taken a hostage and unless his demands were met in full, it would be curtains for the innocent bystander. What the vicar didn’t expect, was Gaynor scaling the garden wall and launching herself from the shed roof behind him, putting his back out on impact. Kevin the paramedic is no stranger to Paul’s house, he knows the sort of high jinks that goes on, so it’s no questions asked as he loads the vicar into the ambulance. Paul didn’t mind being locked in the shed for so long. Gaynor let him out when she realised it was teatime and there was no smell of cooking coming from the kitchen. ‘We’ll go to the chippy’ smiles Paul.