Monday, 8 October 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 17

When out on the town, Gaynor conceals her emergency £20 note safely in her brassiere. She’s taken the precaution of writing her name and address on the bank note, so in the event she temporarily loses the power of speech, she can simply pass the note to the taxi driver and fall asleep. ‘Perfect’ she’ll say. The local vicar admires such contingency planning, there’s been too many occasions when he’s walked home in the rain, with only a waterlogged kebab for company. Paul suggests he sets up an account with the local cab firm, ‘Speedway Taxis’. That way, he can ride now, pay later! It can’t be more than six weeks later that Paul notices several unopened solicitors letters addressed to ‘The local vicar, Paul’s House, the Village’, followed by a County Court summons. It’s not Paul’s place to say anything, but when George the bailiff arrives, Paul has to point him in the direction of the vicar’s room, not forgetting to mention that all the posh electrical equipment chained to the radiator, belongs to room mate, Ed Sheeran. The vicar’s belongings are valued at less than £50 and the bailiff leaves with nothing. ‘Why don’t you like follow Gaynor’s example init and carry like some emergency money init’ suggests Pixie Lott to the vicar. ‘I don’t have a bra’ replies the vicar, ‘but I’m willing to have a go with one of yours Pixie?’ he adds quickly.