Monday, 24 September 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 8

Paul has a push bike, it’s a real museum piece, heavy with no gears and one of those spring loaded hard leather saddles, guaranteed to numb even the most pert derrière. Sometimes, it has a basket on the front, at times the basket’s decorated with flowers, probably the work of Pixie Lott, Paul thinks. Thanks to the local vicar, Paul knows the bike has no value. The clergy man with more front than Blackpool promenade, has openly disclosed to Paul that ‘Crack Convertors’ in town won’t touch it. Though in the vicar’s version of events, it’s Gaynor attempting to peddle the bike (apologies for the pun) rather than him. Everyone at the house uses it from time to time, even Ed Sheeran was seen riding it, with his gangland associate LJ on the handlebars. They were in the vicinity of the Coal Yard, when Old Mrs Dixon, who was visiting a friend, saw them flying like a bat out of hell down Heartbreak Hill. She doesn’t think they saw her.