Friday, 21 September 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 7

At the beginning of each month, Paul spreads his tatty road map on the dining room table and attempts to plot the best routes to the various gigs they’ve booked. It’s an utterly pointless exercise, he has an awful sense of direction and it amuses Gaynor no end, given her natural compass is fine tuned like that of a homing pigeon. ‘It’s a mixed bag of gigs in June’ he says to Gaynor, who cat napping, silently turns over on the sofa in her ‘please DO NOT disturb me’ sort of way. Paul turns to the local vicar keen to chat, ‘This month, we’re playing some odd gigs, in a a bike shop, a shopping arcade and a heritage centre’ he almost sings with excitement. ‘How much will you charge me to feck off and perform at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean?’ asks the vicar with his usual sarcastic tone. He’s very hung over and stretched out on the floor beside Gaynor’s sofa. ‘As a down payment’ replies Paul feeling cocky ‘how about all the money you owe me?’ ‘Throw in all the money Gaynor owes you as well’ smiles the vicar, ‘you’ve got about the same snowballs in hells chance of getting that.’