Tuesday, 18 September 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 5

Paul has the bedroom window slightly open tonight, there’s a lovely cool breeze drifting across valley. Several hours later, he’s disturbed by raised voices in the street, instantly recognisable as the local vicar and Gaynor. They both sound well oiled and glancing at the bedside clock, Paul thinks, ‘Bloody Hell!!!! it’s after two, that’ll be another residents meeting spent discussing anti social behaviour. ‘AND ANOTHER THING....’ yells Gaynor across the street, the end of her rant drowned out by the arrival of a knackered diesel taxi engine. Pixie Lott is the taxi’s passenger and she sounds upset, but she’s an emotional drunk to be fair and the waterworks being turned on and mascara running down her face, is a pre - requisite for a good night out. It sounds like she’s apologising to Gaynor, who’s having none of it and once again raises her voice and shouts ‘IT’S THAT BELL END...HE’S TO BLAME....’ Paul can only imagine she’s pointing at the vicar at this juncture, who wisely uses Paul’s battered Ford Fiesta as a barrier between them. If they follow their usual routine, Gaynor will chase him round the car chucking, pizza, chips, kebab, curry or fried chicken at him, whatever’s left of tonight’s supper, before she gives up, hurls abuse instead and goes to bed. First job in the morning, thinks Paul, apologise to the neighbours and wash pizza slices etc, off the car.