Friday, 14 September 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 3

Paul’s a keen photographer, his sepia nudes of old Mrs Dixon the fishmonger, went on to be the most popular centrefold ever featured by ‘Angling Times’ magazine. Accordingly, when Gaynor and Pixie Lott team up to form badass rap duo, ‘Lott A Wilson’, they ask Paul to take some publicity shots for them. Pixie can’t believe it when Paul says he can’t WhatsApp the shots to her (???) AND she has to wait till the prints are ‘developed’ (????) by someone called Max Spielmann (???) When the prints arrive, Pixie asks Paul to get them on the laptop so they can edit them. When Paul hands her a paper envelope of brown plastic strips, she shrugs at Gaynor in a WTF manner. Gaynor laughs, ‘These are the negatives Pixie, the pictures aren’t online, the shop edits them. Remember, Paul’s at least a million years old.’ Pixie quickly scans Paul, ‘Not online??? Negatives??? Max Bloody Thingy???’ she scoffs. ‘You two are really taking the piss now aren’t you, like init! Is this one of those reality shows???’ she laughs nervously looking round for celebrity morons, Ant and Dec.