Thursday, 27 September 2018

The Publicity Stunts - Episode 10

Ed Sheeran’s secured Gaynor some doorman work at the various nightclubs he’s involved with. It’s a no brainer for Ed, Gaynor’s up there in the top three local ‘hard cases’ and it pays to have muscle on your side. Tonight, she’ll join Terry the hod carrier and Big Dave the blacksmith, in their black suits and shades on the door of local club, ‘Snoggers.’ All seems good, though after a few weeks Paul’s noticed one or two elements of the job are creeping into Gaynor’s home life. There’s one occasion when she refuses the local vicar entrance to the bathroom because he’s too drunk. When he starts to plead, she reminds him she’ll have to restrain him and call the police if he doesn’t leave quietly. At first it seems quite funny, but upon reflection it’s not nice for Mrs Patel next door to witness a drunken vicar urinating over her garden fence in the early afternoon. On a separate occasion Gaynor stops the Bishop at the door on his weekly visit to Paul’s house and asks him to remove his Mitre. ‘It’s just a routine check Sir, to make sure you’ve no concealed weapons in your hat.’ When the Bishop tells her not to be ridiculous and tries to push passed her, she uses her trade mark Vulcan death grip and locks him in the cupboard under the stairs and calls the police. Three hours later when PCSO Grainger arrives on the scene, a furious Bishop is released and instantly demands that Gaynor is arrested for assault and unlawful imprisonment. The vicar quickly drags the Bishop to one side and reminds him that Gaynor still has several photographs on her phone from the last strip poker evening. The Bishop reluctantly reconsiders his position and leaves slamming the door behind him.