Tuesday, 21 August 2018

The Attention Seekers - Episode 90 - our faves - buy the book

It’s the near future and Gaynor’s being interviewed on Woman’s Hour by Fiona Bruce. ‘So Gaynor Wilson, your start up business, ‘An Erotic Tour of the Northern Hills’ has been a runaway success ever since it’s inception. Please tell our listeners, where did such a novel and exciting idea come from?’ ‘Well Fiona love’ starts Gaynor, pausing to pull on her Park Drive, ‘the whole idea developed on the Wilson McGladdery tour bus. We’d be driving through the beautiful and dramatic landscapes of the Lake District and Scotland, when Paul McGladdery, God rest his soul, would point out how certain features of the scenery, reminded him of parts of the human anatomy.’ Fiona quickly interjects ‘Is it correct to say, that it was mostly parts of the anatomy associated with reproduction?’ ‘Aye love’ replies Gaynor smiling ‘and a nice chest, he was always fond of a nice chest, God bless him.’ She pauses to smoke again. ‘Now I know what you’re thinking,’ continues Gaynor, ‘typical childish dirty get, but most of the time it was there in front of you, he had a keen eye he did’ she chuckles whilst placing a handful of the BBC’s complimentary biros in her handbag. ‘So I added a bit of a storyline and hey presto! Thousands of bored tourists rock up every year’ concludes Gaynor. ‘Amazing’ says Fiona. ‘Moving on, our next guest was the inspiration behind the much loved character, the local vicar......’