Thursday, 16 August 2018

The Attention Seekers - Episode 89 - our faves - buy the book

Paul’s distant cousin Tony, has recently passed on and bequeathed Paul a small legacy. The amount of money involved could pay for a luxury family holiday, ‘In a five star all inclusive hotel’ suggests Gaynor, who’s already skipping through the brochures, OR, the cash could provide Paul with some much needed security in his twilight years. The local vicar’s keen to feel the sun against his bones and giddy at the thought of a holiday romance with a Swedish model whose a nymphomaniac millionaire. ‘Paul, there’s no pockets in a shroud’ the vicar reminds him ‘this could be our last chance to have a right laugh and pick up some rough talent in the bargain’. Eventually Paul agrees and let’s Gaynor make the arrangements for them to go away together. Paul’s sharing a room with the vicar who’s very particular, ‘If I pull, I’ll leave my dog collar on the door handle, so if you see that, give it 30 minutes or so, just in case I’m on the vinegar stokes.’ As Paul suspected, the vicar’s out most of the time trailing after Gaynor and Pixie Lott, trying to pick up ‘the spare’ but seemingly with little success. Paul’s found an older crowd of friendly Europeans, who meet for dinner in the old town, before retiring to the hotel for after dinner cocktails. At breakfast at the end of the first week, Gaynor says, ‘Where’s thingy?’ the vicar shrugs and they both go back to their pints and tabs. Pixie whose phone is constantly glued to her hand, sends Paul a quick message ‘U ok?’ Paul replies with three picture messages: Picture 1 is of Paul’s famous black and white piano tie, hung over a door handle. Gaynor snorts with laughter instantly recognising the ‘do not disturb’ symbol of the shaggers code, ‘dirty get’ she smiles. Picture 2 is of the millionaire apartment block on the edge of town which makes Pixie gasp ‘That’s a swanky address!’ Picture 3 is of Paul and an attractive blonde lady causing the vicar to jump up exclaiming ‘Bastard! he’s only pulled my Swedish nympho millionaire’ hasn’t he??? ‘Is it Agnetha from Abba?’ says Gaynor squinting at Pixie’s phone.