Monday, 30 July 2018

The Attention Seekers - Episode 83

It’s late, Paul’s putting the cat out. Around the kitchen table there’s an interesting game of truth or dare going on, between the quartet of the local vicar, Ed Sheeran, Gaynor and Pixie Lott. Most of the obvious ‘truths’ of a naughty, sexual and private nature have already been called, though just before Paul retires to bed, he’s confronted by a Pixie ‘dare’, when she leads him to the sitting room, confesses her undying love for him, her desire to marry immediately and to bear him four strong sons. Paul lets her down easy, stressing he’s very flattered, but he’s not the marrying kind and amid the stifled laughter, goes to bed. As the evening progresses, Ed is the first to fold, when he refuses Gaynor’s dare of stealing Jaffa Cakes from the 24 hour garage. Pixie’s next, when she refuses the vicar’s dare of calling the fire brigade and offering to strip for the poor lonely boys on the night shift. Gaynor and the local vicar as the last ones standing, toss a coin to call the next truth or dare. Thirty minutes later, the local vicar’s stood in his dog collar and underpants in the local police station. He claims he’s been abducted by aliens having rubbed a mixture of eggs and cuppa soup all over himself, to simulate ‘alien gunk.’ Once the desk sergeant, who’s used to this sort of high jink, has taken a statement and warned him to ‘be careful out there’ he’s greeted by rapturous applause outside by the gang. ‘Right Missy!’ snares the vicar at Gaynor, wiping alien gunk off his face, ‘your turn....’ his smile suddenly turning very wicked.