Monday, 16 July 2018
The Local Vicar - Episode 76
Gaynor’s very drunk, it’s late and she’s reminiscing about random days and memories. Paul’s heard all her stories before, but doesn’t mind her reliving these moments again. She sets the scene, Skegness ‘79, ‘He was called Ryan’ she says, pausing to inspect the dimps in the ashtray. ‘Actually........’ thinks Paul to himself, ‘I’m sure it’s Brian, not Ryan.’ ‘He was my first Paul....’ she says, making a gesture with her arms which Paul assumes means sexual congress. ‘Hmmm, what about the John Travolta ‘absolute spit’ who worked on the Speedway at the Wakes fair then....??’ Paul questions himself flipping through the Rolodex in his head. ‘I really loved him Paul’ she says lighting a Park Drive and slowly inhaling its sweet mix of life threatening tar and smoke, ‘he could have been the one.’ Paul nods solemnly in agreement, attempting to express the regret of lost love via a gesture. In reality however, he knows the whole story of Brian or ‘Besotted Brian’ as she sometimes calls him. Her first holiday romance, he’d followed her home and surprised her with a marriage proposal, in front of the pet food stall on the covered market. It was Saturday afternoon, the place was packed! She didn’t verbally respond to his proposal, instead she poured 100 weigh of rabbit pellets over him, as he kneel there before her with a Woolworths engagement ring. Then no doubt still in shock, she walked away, leaving the whole market in stunned silence. It even made page 3 news in the mid week Gazette. Brian returned to his native Ipswich and never made contact again, he even paid for the rabbit pellets, by postal order.