Thursday, 21 June 2018

The Local Vicar - Episode 63

The local vicar’s been arrested again. It doesn’t normally matter, the Bishop will wave his magic wand at the Chief Constable and the minor misdemeanour disappears. It’s the third time in a year though. The Bishop wasn’t arsed when he was done for being drunken disorderly, though why he’d decided to go swimming at the public baths on a Saturday afternoon, was beyond him. It was Gaynor who’d thrown up in the toddlers paddling pool though and that had taken the heat off him with the Plod. Now everyone must have been nabbed at sometime for urinating in a public place? Perhaps not in Mothercare on a Wednesday lunchtime, but those shopping centres are very confusing, especially when you’ve had a few drinks. Bloody Ed Sheeran said he’d keep an eye out, but did he? Did he heck, first sight of the Dibble and he legged it. Now the indecent exposure charge was Paul’s fault, he’s always playing gigs at those naturist camps and going on about getting your tackle out. True it was Pixie Lott who’d dared him to run through the old folks home naked, it’s a shame the Bishop and his snotty wife were visiting her mother at the time.