Wednesday, 13 June 2018

The Local Vicar - Episode 57

Only Paul has his own bedroom now. The local vicar and Ed Sheeran share and they have bunk beds that Gaynor found in a skip. Pixie Lott shares the master bedroom with Gaynor and her huge wardrobe. It’s the room with a lovely view over the park and it just fits two double beds at a squeeze. Ed doesn’t like sharing with the vicar, if he’s not snoring and farting like an old sow wriggling in the bottom bunk, then he’s up and down twenty times a night taking a slash. The vicar’s also prone to sleepwalking and regularly, he’ll deliver the Eucharist and sing ‘All things bright and beautiful’ and other popular hymns, whilst stood on the toilet seat, which serves as his pulpit in the land of nod. In true farcical style, the vicar often returns to the wrong room while sleepwalking and on the first occasion Pixie woke up in bed with him, it was after a heavy night on the blue WKD. Fearing the worst, she spent the whole morning (in between vomiting) begging Gaynor to confirm that she and vicar hadn’t become intimate. Gaynor like a true friend, kept her guessing and extracting the ‘Michael’ until Jeremy Kyle came on, then she lost interest and told her the truth, just to shut her up.