Tuesday, 12 June 2018

The Local Vicar - Episode 56

It’s Monday and Paul’s at home listening to Woman’s Hour. The local vicar hasn’t surfaced yet, but he rarely does before lunchtime during the week. Around 11am, there’s a knock on the door, it’s Gordon, the Council’s truant officer. He’s a regular visitor to the house, it’s common knowledge that Gaynor, Pixie Lott and Ed Sheeran, will often be found here when absent from school. ‘Morning Gordon’ says Paul inviting him in, ‘Tea? Milk no sugar?’ ‘Yes please Paul’ he replies, ‘any sign of the three amigos today? They haven’t turned up at school since Thursday and it’s an important exam year for them’. ‘Have you tried down the precinct Gordon?’ suggests Paul, ‘I often see them busking outside Rumbelows. Ed plays guitar, whilst Pixie dances and Gaynor chases the punters down the street until they pay up.’ ‘Ah! What sort of a career is music’ scoffs Gordon ‘when will these kids ever learn, eh Paul?’ Paul reminds Gordon they both played in bands back in the late ‘70’s and whenever Gordon’s down the Dog and Gun a bit worse for wear, he’ll reminisce about the best time of his life with the band to anyone that’ll listen. During Paul’s lecture, Gaynor, Pixie and Ed walk in. ‘Surely you won’t make us go to school now Gordon?’ questions Gaynor. Gordon looks at the young musicians and sees his own young hopes and dreams reflected in their eyes. ‘Ok’ says Gordon. ‘If you all turn up tomorrow, I’ll turn a blind eye.’ As the cheering dies down the vicar comes in wearing just his underpants and socks, ‘What’s the celebration?’ he says, quickly looking round for an open bottle of fizz.