Friday, 8 June 2018

The Local Vicar - Episode 54

Paul’s in the Barnardo’s shop, next door to Rumbelows. There he’s found amongst the rails of pre - love paraphernalia, an almost new Harris Tweed sports jacket. It transforms his look completely, he seems slightly taller, younger, marginally slimmer and perhaps a little more handsome and virile. He parts with the asking price making sure he’s sufficient money left to buy Gaynor’s Park Drive and beef jerky and sets off down the high street. Back at home there’s something different in the air, Gaynor wouldn’t normally notice Paul, even if he walked in the room on fire, whilst dressed in drag, with an inflated condom on his head. Today however, he catches her eye, she can’t quite put her finger on it and she’s unsure why she’s staring, ‘you had a hair cut?’ she enquires through a mouthful of the newly acquired beef jerky. He smiles coyly enjoying the attention and walks into the kitchen where there’s a similar experience with Pixie Lott, who stumbles even more through her usual ‘likes’ and ‘init’s’. The local vicar clocks what’s going on and as soon as Paul takes the jacket off, he’s nabs it, after all if it can turn that frog into a prince, imagine what it can do for a stud like him. The new blart behind the bar at the Dog & Gun better watch out!