Wednesday, 16 May 2018

The Locar Vicar - Episode 46

The local vicar’s attempting to write Sunday’s sermon. Normally he cribs from Radio 4’s ‘Prayer for the Day’, but a regular listener has mentioned his plagiarism to the Bishop, who’s had a friendly word with him about it. Paul and Ed Sheeran are always writing loads of tosh thinks the vicar, they’ll enjoy helping him write a few sermons. He finds them both in the sitting room, Paul’s showing Ed how to tune the guitar and in exchange, Ed’s showing Paul how to own the stage, in front of 50,000 smacked up teenagers. Gaynor’s sprawled on the floor with Pixie Lott. They’re cutting out the paper outfits from various back issues of ‘Bunty’ trying to find a new look for Pixie’s stage show. ‘My..’ says the vicar, oozing his best oily charm ‘what a hive of creativity we have here....’ ‘We’ve no fags, no ale and no cash’ says Gaynor, surprisingly calmly, ‘so unless you’ve got some, then do one!’ ‘I’ll have a word later.....’ retreats the vicar smiling, sensing the danger in the air.