Tuesday, 15 May 2018

The Local Vicar - Episode 45

Gaynor’s got her feet up, she’s piping hot tea in one hand and the final drag of a Park Drive in the other. She’s been watching Paul as he makes Monday nights tea, liver and onions and mash potato. Every night as it’s own meal, Monday liver, Tuesday chops, Wednesday fish fingers and so on. ‘Boring get’ she thinks to herself as he follows his teatime routine like a wind up toy. Any second now he’ll pretend to bash a gong making the noise himself and announce ‘dinner is served!’ as if he’s maitre d’ at the pigging Ritz. Then seconds later, the local vicar will come thundering down the stairs as if he’s eight years old and not eaten for a week. As the vicar meets his cue perfectly, entering stage right, Gaynor wonders if this is the best time to mention the gentlemen’s relaxation pamphlets she spotted behind the vicar’s wardrobe? Maybe best if she saves that for dessert? Spotted dick on a Monday.