Tuesday, 8 May 2018

The Local Vicar - Episode 41

Paul’s recently noticed several unsavoury characters hanging around the house. His suspicions are soon confirmed when a photograph of him emptying the hoover bag appears in the News of the Screws. The caption reads ‘Gaynor Wilson’s dad, Saul McCartney at his luxury Oldham residence, yesterday.’ ‘Flaming paparazzi’ exclaims Paul to no one in particular, though the local vicar who’s lying on the sofa half watching ‘Cash in the Attic’ is earwigging and that devious smile appears. Several hours later, the vicar like the Pied Piper has drawn the pack of over friendly, red top vermin to the Dog & Gun. ‘Nobody knows more about Gaynor than me’ boosts the vicar to the mob. ‘Funny, that’s exactly what the Bishop told us 20 minutes ago’ smirks one of the paparazzi, immediately undermining the vicar’s negotiation and dampening his dream of a cash pay out for his story. ‘Another tipple vicar?’ the reporter offers in his whiny southern accent, hoping that cheap liquor will loosen the vicar’s tongue. Meanwhile following a tip off from Paul, Gaynor arrives to save the vicar from himself and his big flapping pie hole. ‘YOU! HOME! NOW!’ she bellows at him in a voice that would raise the dead.