Wednesday, 23 May 2018

The Local Vicar - Episode 49

Paul has just one rule in his house and that’s the correct disposal of rubbish. Gaynor’s not too bad, Paul will occasionally catch her putting an empty ale can with the general rubbish, but because Paul’s lectures are so dull, she tries to follow the rules or at least blame the local vicar if her crime’s detected after the event. The vicar however is a law unto himself, to him there’s no such thing as recycling and his fag packets, ale cans and spent left handed literature, are all dumped in one place for Paul to sort, affording Paul the opportunity to cluck like a mother hen. On a couple of occasions, the vicar has misplaced his keys returning from a session at the Dog & Gun and because it’s raining, has climbed inside the bin for shelter, until the others come home. This has backfired a couple of times; for instance when Pixie Lott chucked up in the bin covering the vicar with a putrid mix of lamb rogan josh and blue WKD and; the night when Gaynor and Paul got back from a Glasgow gig at 4am; Paul put the bins out before going to bed knowing he’d be up late. Apparently the vicar almost had a heart attack when the bin men tried to load the bin on their lorry at 6am.