Tuesday, 3 April 2018

The Local Vicar - Episode 22

The local vicar is ‘adjusting’ the fund raising ‘thermometer’ in Church by another £10. Nobody noticed last time he did it and it’s only like borrowing from petty cash isn’t it? Everybody must do it? ‘God forgive me’ he mutters as he opens the cash box and gingerly takes a £10 note as if it’s white hot. ‘TEA LEAF!!’ shouts Gaynor whose crept up behind him, if it wasn’t for her recognisable laughter, he’d thought that God Himself was seeking divine retribution. They slope off towards the Dog and Gun stopping for a Park Drive under the canopy of Kwik Save to escape the rain. Sue the local Scout leader is just leaving Kwik Save, she’s loaded down with bags but still makes a beeline for the vicar. She tells him how hard her Club Scouts worked last week to raise money for the Church and how proud she was of them being able to help restore such a beautiful and important building. At this point, Gaynor like a little devil on his shoulder, plods the vicar in the ribs to remind him of the origins of today’s beer fund. Sue and Gaynor were in the same school year, however they haven’t spoken since the night of the school leavers prom. That night Rob, Sue’s now husband, made a drunken lunge at Gaynor whilst Sue was in the ladies room. In retaliation, Gaynor broke Rob’s nose...in three places. ‘Scumbag’ she thinks.